First day of Spring

Happy First day of spring everyone. 

It's time to get out there and start planting. The weather is warming up here and we are getting ready for it.
   It's time to get the pool ready for those hot days. Believe it or not it's hot here during the spring, not like summer but hot enough to enjoy a day of swimming. With that said we went out yesterday and got a new sand filter for our above the ground pool. Little did i know that we also had to get sand for it. I thought it came with it. Lol. That's what i get for thinking.
    Besides that, we also bought a new Lawn mower blade because i broke the last one. Yep maybe i should stop mowing the lawn. lol I love to work outside so that's not gonna happen. My poor husband has to now install it. Let's see if he can do it without cussing me. lol.

Patchwork Monkey

 I also bought some new yarn and stuffing for the patch work monkey i am working on. I ran out of stuffing so had to get more. Lot's of new colors to add to my collection also. I can't wait to dig into it. 

I also found the yarn that i have been looking for for my cousins shawl. I could of ordered it online but i figured they would have to restock it sometime soon.  Yep i was right, they did. So now i can finish that project. 


Well i should start my day off. Happy First day of spring and Happy Hump day.

Helping on Tuesday

Happy Tuesday everyone. I wanna start this off by saying that i believe that addiction and alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured. I am a daughter of a recovering alcoholic and addict. I am a sister of an active alcoholic and addict. I have been around addicts and alcoholics for well lets just say most of my life. In recovery and not in recovery. I believe in the 12 steps and i also believe in the Higher power. I Believe that if you want sobriety, and you work the program as directed then anyone can get sober. Is it hard? Hell yes. Is it Easy?  no it's not. But what i believe that if you have a great support group and you go to meetings and you do what you are suppose to  do you have a great start at being sober. It's not a guarantee though. There is no CURE. It's not like the flu. You can't take a pill for it.
  Why you ask am i writing about this, well I'm gonna tell ya. I was watching my In session this morning and what comes on, a commercial for Malibu Passages. I Hate that commercial. Pax what ever the hell his name is drives me crazy. I think that he is a phony and that he is getting rich off of people's misery and sickness.
   Alcoholism is not a pretty disease as neither is addiction. If it was pretty they would make a reality TV show. The Real drunks of Beverly Hills. I'm not talking about Dr. Drew's celebrity Rehab either. That show shows a bit of the hard work and the ugly side of detox. It's not glamorized. It's hard. It's not pretty, it's ugly. It can be down right disgusting.You can end up in Jail, Or sad to say Dead. I know to many people that just couldn't do it and they ended up in jail, some died from it. It's a disease. It can happen to anyone. no one is immune. It doesn't just hit a certain race or a certain sex, or this group or that group. It's what i call an all people disease.  
    Anyway, so this commercial comes on and i just feel so angry. I feel like it's slapping those who have worked so hard to get 2 days clean and sober to 30 years clean and sober right in the face. It's not a day at the spa. Come on now, don't you think if getting sober was easy and  enjoyable that more people would be getting clean. Don't get me wrong, it is great and enjoyable when you get clean and sober. You see things with a clear mind, with a new set of eyes you can say. I truly am a firm believer that if you use the 12 steps and accept a higher power that anything can happen. You can't do it alone though. You can't write your own program. You can't make up your own rules. You need the support of others. You need to go to meetings. There is nothing wrong with being clean and sober. There should not be shame in getting clean and sober. There is no perfection. There is only progress, there is only today.  I read the "passages web site" and i just got angrier and i felt sick to my stomach. Now remember this is only my opinion and my views. But it seems to me that you need to hit rock bottom , not go to some luxurious estate where you can play tennis and have a day at the spa, to get clean. Granted everyone's bottom is different. Hey more power to you if you can get clean in an estate and not feel the humility like others.
   Bill W.  the co-founder of AA  ( alcoholics anonymous) along with Dr. Bob, was an alcoholic himself. He went through his trials and tribulations and found out the hard way. He was hospitalized for the last time when he had his "spiritual Awakening". He never drank after that. When he thought he was going to drink or wanted to drink he found another drunk to help. What made him great is that he went through it all with the help of his  higher power and other drunks.  I'm sure he was afraid. I'm sure he was fearful. Who isn't those things on a daily basis though. Regardless if your a drinker or not. His life was not picture perfect. His Parents both abandoned him and left his grandparents to raise him. He was fighting depression, and he felt like he was just not good enough. But when he got together with other drunks he felt like he fit in somewhere. There were others just like him. 
  Today AA has  " over two million members belonging to 100,800 groups of alcoholics helping other alcoholics achieve and maintain sobriety.^[1]  " 
 My point is this.... If you are needing help..... then get help. Call someone. If you don't know who to call then go to a church and ask for help and guidance. Call information, Look on the web, look somewhere. You never know , You just may run into one of those 2 million people.It's easier said than done, but it just may save your life.
  http://www.aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash

Lead poisoning

Happy Friday Y'all. Hope everyone had a good week and is ready for the weekend. I know i am. Hard week this week and just glad it's over.  

 Took my little one to the doctor to once again get his lead level checked. It's so hard to watch him go through this and not being able to really do anything about it. He has had Lead poisoning for the last 3 years or so. We get tested every 3 months and even though his level is not that high 7, i believe it is affecting his behavior.

Tommy at 1 year 

   Tommy was my oops baby. I believed in my heart of hearts that i was done. I had 2 kids that were in there teens and i no longer had to really worry about having to get a sitter anymore, i was free in a weird sort of way. 

   Well god's plan was very different. I became pregnant at 36 and it was hard. I became very depressed, and i had gestational diabetes, and i was just not a happy camper with this pregnancy. This was a very different feeling from my other pregnancies. 

   So back to Tommie's behavior. I asked the health department worker that came out to the house if his level could be affecting his behavior. Besides just being spoiled rotten, His "fits" we will call them , i noticed were getting worse, and that they became more frequent. Almost like a Jekyll & Hyde thing. One minute he is OK and then Bam flipping out over nothing. When i say flipping out i mean Hitting his head on the tile floor, throwing things, hitting himself etc. 

  When Tommy first started this i thought OK terrible 2's right. I asked his Pediatrician, other mother etc. I was looking on the internet for any possible answer. We had his blood tested at one of his doctor's appt. and it came back that his lead level was a 10. So they tested it again. Came back a 7. The doctor just said OK will keep an eye on this and test him every 3 months or so. 

   Ummmm excuse me what can we do about this??????????????? Hello my kid has lead poisoning and you are just going to keep an eye on this. I was shocked. My mother was shocked. we were all like what the hell. So when we got home we of course all started looking up and researching lead poisoning. the Facts, the myths, etc. 

    As i researched it more and more , the more i became more and more confused. Sensory overload i would call it. I wanted to test everything. i called my landlord and was mad, I totally over reacted of course putting all the blame on her and her home that i rent. It's older, built in like 1940 or so. So i figured that it was all the pipes and the 50 layers of paint on the walls, the floors, etc. I told her that i was gonna move, yeah right, and i wasn't going to pay rent until she fixed the pipes etc. Yeah right again.

Tommy at 3 years with his baby cousin Parker and Big sister Jenna .

   His lead levels were down  to a 3-4 since the last time we got tested, which was in October. So i believe that they are back up since his behavior is again outrageous. Back to hitting his head, himself, and others when he gets mad. I also think there is an underlying something besides the lead. His half brother and dad acted the same way i have been told. So the battle has just begun. I am willing to fight this with all my might. It has taken a toll on me already , but Tommy needs me to fight , and that's what I'm gonna do. I love him with all my might. This is my job. 

 It's not going to be easy by any means and with fighting depression myself, dealing with the out of control behavior of a 3 year old , it's going to be a big battle. But i believe that we will get through this. Together with lots of prayers, lots of praying, and lots of support from others we will.